Allow me to preface this post by saying that I am a feminist. I do not believe that the typical milestones set for women by society over the years are whats best for every woman. I don’t feel that marriage and/or motherhood is for everyone. I cannot stand when my female friends are given a hard time for being single over a certain age, or are told “one day you’ll change your mind” when they point out that they do not wish to have children. I also hate when I see some of my female friends feeling like a failure or like their life is lacking something simply because they are not meeting one of these milestones and end up getting into something that ultimately is not for them or doesn’t bring them happiness. Every woman is different and so their journey should be different as well without the judgement and expectations of others getting in the way. And it goes both ways; because I love having a family and being a wife I do not wish to be viewed as ‘old fashioned’ or a domesticated housewife. There are many, many, many different types of people, women and men, and we cannot be typecast into a certain role or put in a box. Because this is my specific journey, I do not want other women feeling like it has to be theirs as well or they are missing something if they do not feel the same way. With all that said, I will carry on and get to the point.
It’s Saturday morning and I sit here with my cup of coffee, some good music (in my opinion at least), a dog hopelessly devoted to the fuzzy blanket on the couch, and I can’t help but reflect on my life, past, present and future.
This next year will bring several changes into our lives; a baby, my 30th birthday and hopefully a new property to name a few. Of course those are just the ones we are aware of. We all know life has a way of throwing unexpected things in the loop every now and then just to keep you on your toes, but that’s okay.
Ever since I was a small child of about 5, I’ve known that I want to be a mom. Not just a want really, but a feeling in my soul that having a family and becoming a mom has always been a part of God’s plan for me and partially the reason for my existence on this earth. I feel so incredibly blessed and grateful that with God’s grace, this dream has evolved into a soon-to-be reality. I sit and think about all the major happenings of my life over the years, (good, bad and ugly), that have gotten me to this point and thank every single one of them. While some I still wish there could’ve been a way around at times, I have made peace with them and have accepted them as a part of the process and what moulded me into the person I am today. I think about the small family I’ve already built with my husband and our peanut of a dog, and I am filled with so much love and emotion. I feel so blessed to have them in my life and believe me, I KNOW they cannot be taken for granted. My husband is an amazing man and to think that he is the one that will be sharing this upcoming journey of parenthood with me, not to mention life, well, that’s just incredible.
As far as turning 30 goes, I suppose this is a milestone that is typically viewed with a lot of anxiety for some people, but I have to say I’m incredibly excited about it. The whole idea of getting older in general has become comforting to me. As someone who had a complete life crisis when turning 25, this is surprising. Every birthday since 25 I have written down a list of goals for the upcoming year in a haze of panic and thinking ‘what have I really done with my life so far??’ However, now I feel more content taking things as they come. The truth is I’ve done many things so far that I wasn’t giving myself enough credit for. I’ve gone down several paths, tried lots of things, took a few big risks and do not regret any of them. I’ve learned that there’s not one timeline for success for everyone. I’ve become more inspired by the people who have made things happen for themselves later in life and refuse to accept that their best days are behind them, than the people who’ve accomplished a ridiculous amount by a ridiculously young age. It’s becoming more apparent that there’s much truth to the saying that growing older is a gift not given to everyone and so I gracefully accept the opportunity to have more years added on to my life. I now view it as an incredible chance for maturity and evolvement. More time to get to know yourself and do what really matters for you and for others without the insecurity and worries of what others might think. Having always been a people pleaser growing up, that might be what I am most excited for. Every year I feel it getting a little easier.
All these things combined have made me think that the best years are truly yet to come and I feel myself growing a little more into who I aught to be and that is a beautiful thing.
Happy Saturday, all.